Lynette Martyn

Dear Kyle,

 

For your dedication ceremony, the minister has asked your father and I to write a letter outlining our hopes and dreams for you. Your father hopes you will be a concert-singing, Democratic, atheist who plays short-stop for the Red Sox and sits on the Supreme Court. I'd like you to win Top Chef, create world peace, save the environment and discover a cure for cancer, all the while calling your mother every evening to share your day with me*. Those dreams aside, here is a shorter list of things I would hope for you. You may not find all of these things in life, you would be a very lucky individual if you did. However, a mother can dream the best for her child; it comes with the job description.

 

1) I hope you grow up to make a living doing something you love and excel at.

2) I hope you find lasting love.

3) I hope you live a long, healthy life.

4) I hope you decide to become a father and can experience the same joy that you have brought to your parents' life.

5) I hope you have an opportunity to cherish some life-long friendships, like the ones your father and I have with your godparents.

6) I hope you grow up to make a positive contribution to society, by being a good friend, neighbor, and citizen of the world.

7) I hope you'll continue to laugh every day and dazzle people with your smile.

8) I hope you get to experience the thrill of traveling to exotic destinations.

9) I hope you will continue to find joy in music.

10) I hope you will always feel you have the freedom to be whomever you want to be.

11) I hope you will always learn from your mistakes and rebound from adversity with grace and dignity.

12) I basically wish you happiness...

 

All my love,

Mama (& Dada)

 

*:  Judging by Mama's daily conversation with Grandma, these will mostly be about what you ate, and how much you enjoyed it. - Dada

 

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To my forever baby boy - Myles,

 

Mommy and Daddy love you more than words can express. Your bring us laughter every day, you charm us with your singing and dancing, your piano and guitar performances, your adorable words, you're beautiful curls, your pirate and chef play, your witty jokes and your exclamations of, “I’ll do it!”, and to your patient, older brother, “I’m the boss!”. Though I know you are eager to grow up and control the world, rest assured you have already gained control of mommy and daddy’s hearts. When your big brother, Kyle was your age, mommy and daddy stood strong, refusing to respond to crying or impolite demands. With you my little boy, we have grown weak. I fear we will spoil you. Where Kyle was always older than his years, you, my beautiful boy, luxuriate in being our baby and mommy and daddy eagerly reciprocate. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than rocking you or your brother in my now, undersized arms and pretending the “bough” has broken in order to unleash your giggles.

 

When Kyle was dedicated to First Parish, I was asked to write a letter of my dreams for him; I was a first-time mom, fearless and full of big hopes and dreams. I recall hoping he would become something like the first world-class chef/surgeon to become president and initiate world peace while taking the time to call his mommy everyday. While I still hope my boys will grow up to cook gourmet meals for me and call everyday, reflecting on the future of my second and seemingly last child; I find myself humbler, desperately trying to hold on to the now. Looking into the future, no longer appeals to me.

 

Happiness is now. Nearly everyday I turn to your father and say, “God, I love our children.”, often followed by, “Life is good.” Life feels charmed. It’s never perfect, there are bad patches, awful days, frustrations that life brings to everyone, but since becoming parents we feel like the luckiest people in the world. Particularly, when placed in the context of a world filled with so much poverty and inequality; our blessings become less subjective. We are indeed lucky. Even putting the words to paper feels a little dangerous; I don’t want to jinx our luck. So looking at the future feels a little trepidatious these days, life definitely can’t get better, so the challenge is to be present in the moment and not to worry about the inevitable slew of less-happy moments that are bound to come our way. To be thankful in the moment, peaceful, a seemingly simple, but incredibly hard task to follow. 

 

So my hopes for you, my second child, are humbler. My dreams for my children have become less grand. I wish for you happiness, fulfillment, and peace. I wish for you, the awareness to know when life is good. The humility to understand, you are a small insignificant part of a greater world and to be thankful everyday for the gifts you are handed. The gift I would like to give you today is in your dedication to First Parish. They will offer you a community, a place to turn to when life is hard, a place to celebrate when life is glorious. A place to remind you to be thankful. A place to remind you of those that are not as lucky as you may be. A place that will offer you the means to make a difference in the world, in your community. I hope you will treasure this gift as much as Mommy does.

 

Life moves fast; treasure all the good moments. Other parents advise me that each year with your children has its own awesome milestones, but I miss toddler Kyle so much and I feel like I am rapidly approaching the loss of toddler Myles. I try so hard to cement the memories of “Myles today” in my mind. I know my love is exponential and that I will love you more tomorrow morning than I do as I write this today, but please slow down. Life is wonderful today and I long to rock you in my arms and listen to your giggles forever.

 

Loving you always,

 

Mommy (& Daddy)

 

P.S. Daddy’s hope for you, Myles, as for Kyle, is that you grow up to play for the Red Sox. But since he already wished for Kyle to play shortstop, he wishes for you to play second base - you’ll make a terrific double-play combo. And besides, he wanted to name you after Dustin Pedroia, who will need a replacement by then.